TIME

This week was really fun for me. Since I'm not yet married I took a particular interest in our topic of preparing for marriage.  I liked talking about the "Know Quo" -How well do you know who you know? I really liked the different parts of it: Talk, time, and togetherness. I've been in a couple relationships in my life and it was interesting comparing each one and doing it with the know quo perspective in mind. Some relationships just could not go any further because one of these three was out of balance. Whether it was him talking way too much about himself, or me talking way too much and he would not share a thing; or things moving faster than we were comfortable with; or long distance separating us, or just not enough time, no relationship has been lasting yet. There was one relationship I thought could have been, but I have since seen many reasons why it didn't. We talked about everything together. We had mutual conversations and several similarities. We spent a lot of time together and made time to see each other. Overall, we had a good relationship. It eventually ended because after dating for 5 months we decided it wasn't going any further. We did the things we were supposed to and it didn't work out. We have remained close friends since our breakup and since then I have learned so many things about him that I didn't know before. It was a big indication of how important time really is. No matter how much we talked and how much time we spent together, it takes time to see people in several different situations.
Overall, I know that many relationships don't work out. Sometimes it takes a broken heart before finding our eternal companions, but there is something to be learned from every relationships and in the end, it's all worth it.

Same Sex Struggles

This last week was very eye-opening for me. Five years ago I would have told you I never had encountered any one who considered themselves to be attracted to the same sex. There were those is high school who were teased about it, but no one actually came out and said they considered themselves gay. But today I would tell you that I know several people and families who are affected by same sex attraction.
I have a very close friend who just got home on his mission and told me his younger brother was not planning to serve because he was struggling with same sex attraction. I talked to my friend about his brother and he told me that it was very difficult on his family because for the first time in this young man's life he said he finally felt accepted and happy. He was one of the ones who was a little different in high school and who was teased fro having hobbies like sewing, and creating outfits. He always felt left out and different. His family said it was hard because he says he is so happy, but they know that what he is involved in is wrong. My friend tells me that as a family they pray for him every day and they do their best to love and support, not endorse, him while he goes through this trial.
I have learned a lot from my friend's experience. Their family is staying so strong and trying to help him remember who he is. After learning more about same sex attraction I will have a greater appreciation for my friend and his family and their example, and definitely more compassionate for them. I am grateful I am now more informed about how this happens so I can be more loving and more able to help people and their families who go through this. 

The Things That Count

Last week we talked about family class and culture. It was a really good week for me in that I got to take a nice look at my life and realize how truly blessed I am. When I watched the video, "Tammy's Story" my heart just broke for that woman. She made so many sacrifices and wanted to give her boys the very best, but she could only give what she had. When I was watching it, I was blown away at the disrespect her son had towards her, but as we talked about it all in class, the thought occurred to me that in many ways I was like her son. My parent's have a good steady income and we have been extremely blessed all my life. However, like many junior high school girls all that mattered to me was to fit in. I wanted to play all the sports, go to all the camps, have the newest clothes, the cutest shoes, the best hair, my own car, etc. I wanted everything that everyone else had. I can remember times saying I had nothing to wear and I my mom was going to feel so bad for me when I went to school in rags. In short we'll just say I was a little dramatic just like Tammy's son. I look back on those days and I could just kick myself for the way I treated my parents. We are a modest middle class family and we are very happy, we have our struggles but we get by. All my life I have been able to do many fun activities and I've never gone to school in rags, but I didn't get all the things I wanted and for that I am so deeply grateful. I got my first job my Sophomore year of high school and I've been earning my own money ever since. I've payed for most of my own school, my own car and car insurance, phone bill, etc. I've learned the value of hard work and the satisfaction that comes from earning something. Each time I get in my car I remind myself that I earned it so I need to take care of it. My parents taught me how to work and the happiness that comes from achieving goals like buying my first car, paying for college, and being able to do what it is within my means. There have been times when my mom and dad have payed my insurance, but I always try to help them around the house to repay them. I believe in hard work. I believe that we can be happy within our means, and at the end of the day, money matters very little. It's working together as a family to make things work that really counts.

Together We Have It All

This week we talked about theories regarding the family. As we went through each theory I tried to look at my own family and how the theory was manifest in our home. I drew connections most with the Systems Theory. The System Theory looks at the family as a whole, made up by the individual units within. It made me think of the popular quote, "We may not have it all together, but together we have it all." This quote is so true in my family. Individually we all have some issues going on, but when we come together, we are all each other's best friends. But most importantly, we are working toward the same goal: that our family can be together forever. We talked about sub-systems within the whole, roles that each person plays, and the unstated rules. In my family, mom and dad are the executive sub-system, my oldest brother has made a subsystem with his beautiful wife and two children, my other brother just got married and they have formed a sub-system, and the rest of us hope to start one someday too:) But when we all get together, it doesn't matter where it is, it feels like home. We all play our roles, and while sometimes we annoy each other with the roles we play, at the end of the day, we are each other's best friends. My number one "unspoken" rule I wrote down said "As siblings, we defend each other, a little overprotective, but we stick together no matter what." Any breach to that rule and it can get a little messy.. My family is my true and trusted friends; that's the rule, that's the role we play, and that's what makes it all worth it:)



Last Sunday.. no matter what, each Sunday together ends up in a Bonded Dog Pile:)